What the Hell Happened to Ervin Santana's Face? (57/81)

Throughout his season long struggle, Ervin Santana has faced his share of problems. The dude went from being the number 2 starter on the team only 2 seasons ago to barely hanging onto his rotation spot by the fringe of his fingers. Something was brought to my attention last night that shattered my world forever. My pops asked me, "Is it me or does Santana's face look bigger than normal?"

I never really thought about it until my dad mentioned it, but oh my gawd! What the heck happened to Ervin? He really let himself go lately.

Santana looks like he got stung in the face with a buttload of bees. It's something I never noticed before, but I'll give a few theories on what I think happened to the Dominican right hander.

1. His recent struggles have put him on the breakup diet

Ladies, you know what the breakup diet is. When you get depressed that your man broke up with you, you get out that tub of ice cream and hold onto it with a vice grip tighter than the one you get during child birth. I've felt that grip; it's deadly. Men can also fall into the breakup diet when the reach a state of depression and start to not care about their appearance. Santana might've got so fed up with his struggles that he started to feed up his belly.

2. Maybe Dominicans gain weight easier than everyone else

When you look at guys like Bartolo Colon, David Ortiz and Juan Uribe, this idea doesn't seem so farfetched. Colon always had trouble keeping his weight down when he was with the Angels and Ortiz is just a big guy in general. Santana went from skinny jeans to puffy cheeks in a matter or weeks/months, but being Dominican won't explain that.

3. Maybe he had an allergic reaction

To bees or a certain medication that caused his face to swell up. This one seems most plausible because Santana doesn't look like he's rocking a big gut. His face just seems swollen and round.

4. Juicing?

With the way the league sets up their random drug tests and how damaging being caught can be to your career (right, Ryan Braun? Oh wait...) you'd have to be a fool to rock the steroids in this era. Well, we found our fool. Fellow Dominican Melky Cabrera was recently popped for having an illegal amount of testosterone in his system. The pressures of being a major league player and making millions of dollars can be too much for some people, and Santana could fall into that category.

Santana is in his contract year and Angels are unlikely to resign him after the inconsistency he's shown this season. Steroids are proven to cause your head to swell and your balls to shrink. I sure hope this isn't the case for Santana, but if he's got raisin testicles, he's gonna be out of a job for more than just the offseason. Let's just hope I'm wrong about all this stuff, and he just happened to get back in line one too many times at the seafood buffet.